tottietuts

2003-12-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

a toast to all my paranoia. what do you call someone who has all these doubts with only one way to get rid of 'em but doesn't have the guts to do so? well that's me. i'm the kind of person who keeps all these major insecurities and doubts inside of me until i can't take it anymore that i burst and hurt myself because of them. on the inside i'm this outspoken super frank girl that tells everyone what i think and feel. but actually, i don't tell everyone everything. in fact i hide the most important things from people cuz i'm afraid they'll think i'm weird or crazy. well i am. give me reason not to be paranoid...

2003-12-28T00:29:00.000-08:00

last post was eleven days ago ne? hu-hum...

recap:

18 : gastroscopy (yuchy ouchie feelin)
19 : ultrasound (no, i aint pg.. it's too see if sumthin's wrong in there.. -.-"); sleepover at fe's
20 : went to Policarpio with 'em family and roy-kun
... i forgot what happened during the next two days ... -.-"
23 : went to star city. -.-" enjoyed NOT
24 : Christmas Eve. no hard liquor for me.. a bottle of red wine and Clue (the PC game) was good enough. had fun of course, bein with the clan and all that.. weh.
25 : merry Christmas and happy sickness day. migraine attack the whole day. bummer! -.-"
26 : went to the hospital.. yea. i got tonsilitis.. weh.
27 : that's yesterday, right? pilgrimage to manaoag. SOOPER TRAFFIC!!! but of course, twas well worth it.

tamad.

over and out.

2003-12-17T06:21:00.000-08:00

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

' been thinking of this poem the whole day... why? aba malay koh... maybe that's what happens when one feels blue: make no sense at all.

gastroenterologist said i aint allowed to drink alcohol for the rest of my life... like KILL ME INSTEAD, OK?! but what the hell, who said i'd be followin his orders anyway? i can just ignore him, right? BWAHAHA!!!

over and out, crazy little bitch...

2003-12-09T05:17:00.000-08:00

¿Si comiendo el dolor de medios, quién querría comer?

2003-12-07T05:04:00.000-08:00

oh how... what does one do when there are more negative things in his life than positive things?

nuh-uh.. don't think it's me. it aint. im just curious.
i may hate or get angry or get frustrated or get overly filled with different emotions (as right now)... but yeah, there's always a brighter side...

here's a list of good things to do when you're too damn depressed:
1. go out for a walk.. or a bicycle ride... or a drive...
2. go to the mall and shop... or just walk around
3. watch a movie you really like
4. visit a friend
5. watch the sunset
6. eat something you've never eaten before (or probably never will again)
7. drink some totally hard alcohol or smoke (but these are bad... or so they say)
8. do something you've been afraid to do (but of course, there are certain LAWS in the constitution that you have to think about.. but if you're a minor, what the hell?)
9. play your favorite sport/game
10. spend some time alone
11. pray

yup. if they still don't work, well then....

try again.

2003-12-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

friday. 05 december 2003. 1357H. humm

our chem lab class hasn't met since friday last week. i miss them. (ambabaw ko!)
anyway... kwento.. wala
cute si vanness!!! toink

mahirap maging bangag.

20 days to go...

2003-12-01T23:13:00.000-08:00

Love, love changes everything: hands and faces, Earth and sky, Love, Love changes everything: How you live and How you die. Love Can make the summer fly, Or a night Seem like a lifetime. Yes, love, Love changes everything: Now i tremble At your name. Nothing in the World will ever Be the same. Love, Love changes everything: Days are longer, Words mean more. Love, Love changes everything Pain is deeper Than before. Love Will turn your world around, And that world Will last forever. Yes, love, Love changes everything, Brings you glory, Brings you shame. Nothing in the World will ever Be the same. Off Into the world we go, Planning futures, Shaping years. Love Bursts in, and suddenly All our wisdom Disappears. Love Makes fools of everyone: All the rules We make are broken. Yes, love, Love changes everyone.Live or perish In its flame Love will never, Never let you Be the same.

2003-11-24T00:22:00.000-08:00

O Captain! My Captain!
Walt Whitman

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills; 10
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won; 20
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

it's funny how my former upperclassmen treat me nowadays... calling me by my first name and all that. saying i aint' required to call 'em "sir"... but i can't really do that now, can i? hehehe!! MCD is life-long, or at least for me. =)

the poem.. er... is really beautiful. otherwise, i wouldn't have posted it. makes sense, ne? (milk in my cereal, coffee mate in my coffee)

...bangag?

2003-11-20T04:06:00.000-08:00

te quiero, mi amor...

But I Do Love You
LeAnn Rimes
I don't like to be alone in the night
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoe
But I do love you, but I do love you
I don't like to see the sky painted gray
And I don't like when nothing's going my way
And I don't like to be the one with the blues
But I do love you, but I do love you
Love everything about the way you're loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
I don't like to turn the radio on
Just to find I missed my favorite song
And I don't like to be the last with the news
But I do love you, but I do love you
Love everything about the way you're loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
And I don't like to be alone in the night
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you but I do love you
But I do love you but I do love you

2003-11-19T05:44:00.000-08:00

¿Qué quiere usted en vida?
para ser libre
simple

there really are some things i can't understand. why do i tolerate some things that i shouldn't? buh.

2003-11-16T05:32:00.000-08:00

i'm speechless, so i'll post this song 'cuz it's what's playing right now...

You're The Inspiration
Peter Cetera

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

2003-11-14T23:36:00.000-08:00

once again, i quit.
but this time it's final.
it's fun to be a CO, but there's too much they expect you to be and do.. and too many sacrifices have to be made and yes, it is SO NOT WORTH IT
plus i have assholes for upperclassmen and i-don't-know-what classmates..
bummer
military life ain't for me, although it's my dream...

and i quote, "dreams are different from reality"
(shan cai)

yes, i'm a meteor garden freak.
i love ken!!

[bangag]

2003-11-12T05:39:00.000-08:00

i think i've already posted this song some time ago, last summer probably. anyhow, this is my song for today:

Eyes On Me

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

things HAVE changed.. or at least i have. i'm actually addicted to meteor garden, and i admit the military life isn't for me...

ohwell.

2003-11-06T05:22:00.000-08:00

i love you, alex!!!
=)

2003-11-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

it's november 05 2003. looks like an ordinary day, and yet it seems like the world is collapsing. sometimes we try to forget our problems but then sooner or later we'll have to face them.
i've always believed that i was the kind of person who didn't care about what others thought of me. i used to ignore people when they said bad things about me, whether to my face or to others. i really didn't care. i had no emotions. i thought, "they know nothing about me." i was made of stone, but now i'm like a sponge absorbing every single thing people has to say about me. i automatically believe them. what the hell happened?! why the sudden change? why now?!
or am i just being paranoid? feeling like everyone dislikes me... can you blame me when everyone in the world seems like they're using me for something? (of course i don't really mean everyone, just most of them..) yeah. maybe i'm just being paranoid. then damn it! take the stupid paranoia away from me.
and oh my god! was i born with a curse? why the hell do i keep losing all my friends?! tell me.. WHY?!?!
plus! it's really annoying to find out that contrary to popular belief, you're really very dumb. imagine getting two 5's, one 4, one 3, and three 2's... what the hell! i used to really be good in math.. tell me, what the hell happened?! plus i spent the whole sem workin hard for the corps and what do i get? a grade of 2 and a lot of insult! why the heck did i volunteer to be the stupid batch cmdr anyway? all they see are my faults. the faults of my classmates are also mine! who made that stupid rule?! shit!! i've seen the friggin paddle several times... shux! i'm so near to feeling it hitting me..
what the hell am i talking about? ::sigh:: i've never been this depressed... 'cuz all my life i thought i was capable of things, and now i realize i'm not.

on the lighter side of life:

Your Love
Alamid

You're the one who never let me sleep
Through my mind and through my soul,
You touch my lips
You're the one that I can't wait to see
When you're here by my side, I'm in ecstacy

Refrain
I'm all alone without you
But days are dark without the glimpse of you
Now that you come into my life
I feel complete
The flowers bloom, the morning shines and I can see

Chorus
Your love is like the sun
That lights up my whole world
I feel the warmth inside
Your love is like a river
That flows down through my veins
I feel the chill inside

Everytime I hear music played
Reminds me of the things that we've been through
In my mind I can't believe it's true
But in my heart, the reality is you

Repeat Refrain
Repeat Chorus

2003-11-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

once again, tottie sings...

If I believed in paradise, I'd swear I must be there I'd swear I must be there right now with you. If I believed in miracles, I'd know that one was happening to me. But if I don't believe in paradise, and miracles aren't real, then someone tell me what is this I feel? I wanna believe in love this time. I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie. But with you I can't deny, if I believed in paradise, I'd swear I'm there. If I believed in magic spells, it all would be so clear, a magic spell must have brought you here. If I could see the future, I'd see if you and I were meant to be. But I don't know any magic, and tomorrow's just a dream, but something in this fantasy is real. I wanna believe in love this time, I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie. I wanna believe it's love. I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie. But with you I can't deny, If I believed in paradise, I'd swear I'm there I'm there...I'm there If I believed

2003-11-04T03:42:00.000-08:00

Mending Wall
by Robert Lee Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbour know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbours."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbours? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down." I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbours."

2003-11-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

Alone. In solitude by consequences, alone, not by choice... Slowly, as the world ceases to live... As the world continues, not making sense... In the erupting maelstrom of reality that we come to "exist"... We fall, We cry, We die. And just like a black rose... I remember... That in all these... I AM ALONE.
- Solitude of A Black Rose

2003-11-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

tonight will be the first CQ for the sem. 'cant believe it's starting over again. but it's ok. i have to admit i miss the barracks! hehehe!

i'm beat.. haven't really slept for so long, being busy watching MG, doing some family and corps obligations and hanging around with friends. but it's ok... sleep is for losers anyway. hehehe!

i learned something new last friday night, (or should i say early saturday morn? whatever)... ice said my driving was improving. and he offered the freakin vehicle again. can't believe that. what i can't believe also is that i rejected it again. harumph. i really don't have the guts. but i believe i made the right decision.. it's difficult to accept that kind of gift... just doesn't feel right. sorry iceman.

anyway, enrolment starts tomorrow.. and like i said, the first CQ for the sem is actually tonight, and the second FTX will be on 07-09 November. i'm gonna be so darn busy again.

wish i could finish the 2nd season before all the shit starts.

over and out.

2003-10-24T04:05:00.000-07:00

and so tottie sings...

here i go again, tripping on my own feet. lately it seems i've been big old foolish me. mumbled when i tried to talk, stumbled when i tried to walk, like i'm in a state of shock when i'm with you. here i go again, looking just like a clown, everything i say is wrong whenever you're around. been around i'll admit, but this time all the pieces fit, something tells me this is it when i'm with you... i think i'm in love again! grinning that silly grin, look what a fool i've been, i think i'm in love again. lately i've lost my mind, but i do it everytime. yes, i know all the signs of being in love... i won't lie to you, i've been in love before but now i know you're the one that i've been waiting for. somehow i get kinda shy and i can't look you in the eye, i come all apart inside when i'm with you... i think i'm in love again! grinning that silly grin, look what a fool i've been, i think i'm in love again. lately i've lost my mind, but i do it everytime. yes, i know all the signs of being in love...

hehehehehe!!!!

MWAH!!

2003-10-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

dahil tinuruan na ako ni aleck kung paano magpalaki ng font size, gagamitin natin ang knowledge... har har har

Hail the corps our alma mater to us be ever dear may we keep thy honor bright thru the long years day and night! Let thy memories be our guide, fill us up with joy and pride! May our hearts beat firm and true, loyal sons ever to you...

i'm doomed...

2003-10-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

SINGKO!!!
wow! malaki nga ung font size!
anyway... masaya ang buhay..
singko ang math17.. taena
'tas ung lecheng teacher so es1 ndi pa nagagawa ung class cards namen. pesteh
ang saya-saya...

2003-10-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

i'm back from the dirt! yeah. from the dirt..

the three-day training cycle was amazing! of course the ftx (field training exercise) was the best thing.. it really wuz. words can't explain. basta masaya. who ever thought that crawling and running for almost eight hours while carrying an almost 10-lbs rifle through rocky, muddy, and insect-filled terrains would be so incredibly fun? woohoo!!

ok. i know i may sound ridiculous to most people.. but hey! don't knock it 'til you try it.

summary of what happened during the training:
1. marksmanship
2. lunch (from here on until the end of the training, we ate nothing but canned corned beef and crackers)
3. mountaineering (rappeling at campo uno). believe it or not, I DID IT!!! yep!! i rappelled! it was damn scary but i did it!!
4. dinner
5. harboring (we slept at the firing range. damn place was full of mosquitos. good thing i had my mosquito-reppellant with moi)
6. (this is saturday already) Physical training
7. lecture on map reading
8. lunch
9. lecture on first aid
10. land navigation (one of my classmates got lost. the whole training directorate got worried. tsk tsk tsk)
11. dinner
12. FTX!!!

take note! not one of us took a bath. hehehe!! can you imagine how much we were stinking then? lolz!

only one wrong thing about the whole training:
the rangers lack MCD and i hate it! pesteh! tangina talaga...
argh! that really sucked. you see.. i got reprimanded 'cuz of that. but the thing is, i reminded them that during the training, they have to show MCD 'cuz i'm a damn CO! why the hell can't they get that? is it too damn hard to call me "sir"?! and besides, back in high school, i showed them utmost MCD! why can't they do that too? gosh! they're my friends, i know. but damn! i need some respect. i deserve it...

over and out.

2003-10-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

PARDON ME
INCUBUS

PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST
A DECADE AGO, I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE.
A TWENTY THREE ON THE VERGE OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
WOE IS ME
BUT I GUESS THAT IT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY .
AN OMINOUS LANDSCAPE OF NEVER -ENDING CALAMITY .
I NEED YOU TO HEAR . I NEED YOU TO SEE.
THAT I HAVE HAD ALL I CAN TAKE
AND EXPLODING SEEMS LIKE A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY
TO ME

SO PARDON ME WHILE I BURST INTO FLAMES .
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE WORLD , AND ITS PEOPLE'S MINDLESS GAMES
SO PARDON ME WHILE I BURN , AND RISE ABOVE THE FLAME
PARDON ME, PARDON ME. I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME .

NOT, TWO DAYS AGO I WAS HAVING A LOOK IN A BOOK
AND I SAW A PICTURE OF A GUY FRIED UP ABOVE HIS KNEES
I SAID I CAN RELATE
CAUSE LATELY I'VE BEEN THINKING OF COMBUSTICATION
AS A WELCOMED VACATION FROM.
THE BURDENS OF THE PLANET EARTH ,
LIKE GRAVITY , HYPOCRISY , AND THE PERILS OF BEING IN 3-D...
AND THINKING SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY .

PARDON ME WHILE I BURST INTO FLAMES .
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE WORLD , AND IT'S PEOPLE'S MINDLESS GAMES
PARDON ME WHILE I BURN , AND RISE ABOVE THE FLAME
PARDON ME, PARDON ME. I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME .
NEVER BE THE SAME ...YEAH .
PARDON ME WHILE I BURST INTO FLAMES .
PARDON ME, PARDON ME, PARDON ME.
SO PARDON ME WHILE I BURST INTO FLAMES .
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE WORLD , AND IT'S PEOPLE'S MINDLESS GAMES
SO PARDON ME WHILE I BURN , AND RISE ABOVE THE FLAME
PARDON ME, PARDON ME. I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME .
PARDON ME, NEVER BE THE SAME . YEAH

pretty obvious that i'm mad about a lot of things, ne?!
bah humbug!
KIIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!!

2003-10-10T02:45:00.000-07:00

ahahahaha!!!!
i haven't been drinking nor smokin but i'm feelin friggin tipsy!! har har har
it's only what? yeah... 1808H. but it's really dark outside... hmm...
it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas anywhere we go...

what's my song for today?? HmMmMm...
actually i've been listening to Christina Aguilera's Fighter all day but I don't have 'em lyrics right now so maybe i'll post 'em next time.. -.-"

over and out.

2003-10-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

eherm..
two more exams and a six-day refresher training course and then i'll be free 'til november 3! yipee! ... actually that's only a week-and-a-half vacation, but what the heck, it's good enough. hehehe
i'll have time to go to all the places i've missed and to the things i haven't done for quite some time... =)

...tinatamad na ako mag-type...
adieu.

2003-10-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

And yet again I will post my dear ole song of the day... dun really have much time to babble.. hehehe!!

Better Man
Robbie Williams

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe & warm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I feel the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
Cos it's not my fault
I know I've been told
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover you're home bound
Love is all around, love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe & warm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I feel the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man

2003-09-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

This is actually yesterday's Song of the Day but I didn't have time to blog last night so I'm posting it now. bwehehehe!!

(I'm Caught Between) Goodbye and I Love You
The Carpenters

I have something to tell you
And I know it won't be easy
I've been thinking these past few days
It might be time to leave
You're like a stranger
Then you're a lover
Never the same
Always hard to believe

I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Never knowing quite where I stand
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Falling both ways nowhere to land
So constantly stranded
I can't understand it
This double life you've handed me
Is like the devil and the deep blue sea

If we go on much longer
If my doubts grow any stronger
Then I may have to let you go
If only to survive
Give me a reason
Why should I stay here
I've tried so hard
Just to keep love alive

I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Never knowing quite where I stand
I'm caught between goodbye
and I love you
Falling both ways nowhere to land
So constantly stranded
I can't understand it
This double life you've handed me
Is like the devil and the deep blue sea

[/end]

SO!!! Too many exams coming up I don't know which one to study first... kaya I'm actually doing stuff for the corps muna. hehehe! Ima study later na lang.. tama? TAMA!
[this paragraph doesn't make any sense at all!]

"We have much to do and less time to do it in."

over and out.

2003-09-28T03:34:00.000-07:00

Bahay Barracks has really been my "bahay" for the past few days. SAYA!!! hehehe! 'had a sudden change of heart. now i feel at home there. ts good, right?
anyway, the semester's almost over. Thank God! We had our last class for Philo1 last Thursday so that's out of the picture, and we took our final exam for ES1 early this afternoon so that also is over. PHEW!!! 5 more subjects and I'm done! Hopefully I'll be able to get a good enough grade in all of 'em stupid subjects.

I love being a part of the corps, although some people say it's stupid. BAH!! They don't know anything! Or maybe they're just envious!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Seriously, they just really don't know shit.

over and out.

2003-09-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

i'm glad.

2003-09-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

Wut can i say?
I'm still a CO, that's it.
wow

i'm happy, but still a little confused. i guess it's because i'm not really sure if i fit in there. somehow i feel like i don't but i also feel that i'm needed there. bottomline is i have to struggle through the following weeks 'til graduation. maybe after that i'll have some free time. gosh. i wish i had time to do everything i need and want. god help me. i miss someone...

i sound crazy, don't i?

2003-09-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

::SoNg Of ThE dAy::

KASTILYONG BUHANGIN
Basil Valdez

Minsan ang 'sang pangako'y maihahambing
Sa isang kastilyong buhangin,
Sakdal-rupok at huwag di masaling
Guguho sa ihip ng hangin

Ang alon ng maling pagmamahal
Ang s'yang kalaban n'yang mortal,
Kapag dalampasiga'y nahagkan
Ang kastilyo ay nabubuwal

Kayat bago nating bigkasin ang pagsintang sumpa
Sa minumutya, sa diwa't gawa,
Pakaisipin naitn kung pag-ibig ay wagas
Kahit pa magsanga ng landas

Minsan dalawang puso'y nagsumpaan
Pag-ibig na walang hanggan,
Sumpang kastilyong buhangin pala
Pag-ibig na pansamantala.

Kayat bago nating bigkasin ang pagsintang sumpa
Sa minumutya, sa diwa't gawa,
Pakaisipin naitn kung pag-ibig ay wagas
Kahit pa magsanga ng landas

Minsan dalawang puso'y nagsumpaan
Pag-ibig na walang hanggan,
Sumpang kastilyong buhangin pala
Pag-ibig na
Pansamantala, luha ang dala
'Yan ang pag-ibig na nangyari sa atin,
Gumuhong kastilyong buhangin.

2003-09-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

Mass Command In Cadence Command
COMMENCE SUICIDE!!!

ayoko nah
=(

2003-08-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

MaLaPiT-lApIt Na Sa KaToToHaNaN

2003-08-29T04:56:00.000-07:00

yippeee!!!!

2003-08-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

::Song of The Day::

Endless Chain
Slam Dunk Movie Theme
BAAD

I just want to love you
Although I can offer no proof of that,
I swear it.
It's forever, because no matter the doubts &
hardships,
we long for each other

Everflowing love is melting into your heart now
While you keep your eyes on the still undetermined future
Time goes by, but we are never alone.
Let's walk together down the unending street
I believe in our endless chain

Though we can't go on living without changing anything,
I want to hold you, so that I don't lose sight of our footprints, together.

Let's walk together down the unending street
I believe in our endless chain

2003-08-25T06:14:00.000-07:00

Ima take my time with this post.. WARNING! This will be VERY LONG!!
[smile!]

::RaNdOm ThOuGhTs::

! I mEeT mOrE aNd MoRe WeIrD pEoPlE eAcH dAy
! sTaLkErS sCaRe Me
! It ReAlLy Is AnNoYiNg To HaVe SoMeOnE yOu'Re NoT ClOsE tO sTaRe At YoU
! i ReAlLy EnJoY wAtChInG mOvIeS
! I wAnNa PlAy TeNnIs
! i WaNnA gO jOgGiNg
! I dOn'T wAnNa ReCeIvE a GrAdE lOwEr ThAn 2.5 (HoW i WiSh!!)
! i WaNnA gRaDuAtE aS tHe ClAsS vAlEdIcToRiAn (CoCc)
! I wAnNa BuIlD uP mY mUsClEs
! i WiSh PeOpLe WoUlD sToP pUtTiNg Me DoWn
! I wIsH i DoN't AlLoW mYsElF tO fAlL iNtO tHaT uNeNdInG aBySs
! gEneRaLlY sPeAkInG, LIFE IS DIFFICULT!!!!

::SoNg Of ThE dAy::

Rainy Days And Mondays
Carpenters

Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothing is really wrong
Feeling like I don't belong
Walking around some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
It's nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
To run and find the one who loves me

(*) What I feel is come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me

Repeat (*)

Hangin around, nothing do to but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

::PoEm Of ThE dAy::
Minstrel Man
Langston Hughes

Because my mouth
Is wide with laughter
And my throat
Is deep with song,
You do not think
I suffer after
I have held my pain
So long?

Because my mouth
Is wide with laughter,
You do not hear
My inner cry?
Because my feet
Are gay with dancing,
You do not know
I die?

::QuOtEs Of ThE dAy::
! Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes just be an illusion
! Humility is a strange thing: the minute you think you've got it, you've lost it
! I confer with death myself...what could you possibly do to injure me?
! The years that I've wasted are nothing to the tears I've tasted
! I think love will be a stranger to me although it is always just by my side

HABA NOH? mwek hek hek!!!
=p

2003-08-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

And so we (alex and i) slept over at fe's last night... FUN!! and yes.. very YUMMY FOOD! =) Yummy KGB also!
mwek hek hek!!! Then today, alex treated us (fe, han, and myself) to lunch at Pancake House; then we (excluding han whose parents just miss her so much) watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Nice movie... even if you watch it for the second time on wide screen. lolz! After the movie, we parted ways and I met with Roy... watched him eat at Jamaican. I wanted to eat too but I was so freakin full that I really couldn't.. -.-'
Then I went home, took a shower then bought bottles of yummy drinks. Ima drink 'em later..

[Ang gulo ko mag-kwento.. Nakakatamad kasi eh]

9th TD na tomoroooo!!!
wish us LUCK!!!

over and out.

2003-08-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

--SoNg Of ThE dAy--

When You Know
Shawn Colvin

That you know
Who you love
You can't deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don't buy it

When its clear this time
You've found the one
You never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know

When you feel
In your skin
In your bones
And the hollows
Of your heart
There's no way
You can wait
Till tomorrow

When there isn't any
Doubt about it
Once you come this close
Cause you know
And you know
That you know

You can feel
Loves around you
Like the sky
Round the moon
This is how
Love has found you
Now you know
What to do

When you know
That you know
Who you need
You cant deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don't buy it

When its clear this time
You've found the one
You'll never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know

And its time
You come in
From the cold

And you know
That you know

2003-08-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

--SoNg Of ThE dAy--

Showing Us The Way

Here we are tying up the loose ends
And saying last good byes to all our friends
Here we are making all the right moves
And moving on to new things
Starting over again
Where we’re going to it’s still hard to say
But I know we’ll come back someday
Holding on to all the things you’ve taught us
And thanking you for showing us the way
There we were seeing things the first time
And sorting out the reason from the rhyme
There you were always there to guide us
Mapping out the mountains that we had to climb
You took us in your hands and shaped us like clay
And help prepare us for this day
See us now we’re shining in your love-light
And thanking you for showing us the way
You watched us all grow older
You helped us look ahead
You’ll be there on my shoulder
In my times of need
I’ll hear the words that you said
The words that you said
Here we are tying up the loose ends
And saying last good byes to all our friends
Here we are making all the right moves
And moving on to new things
Starting over again
Where we’re going to it’s still hard to say
But I know we’ll come back someday
Holding on to all the things you’ve taught us
And thanking you for showing us the way

2003-08-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had that feeling of being left out in a particular subject? I'm beginning to feel that way in our SocSci1 class. Why? I happen to think the fucking subject is good for nothing, my child-like classmates annoy me, and most importantly my teacher is so stupid it makes me think UP isn't just for the intelligent ones. (Damn! I'm bad, am I not?) But I'm actually telling the truth. If you were in his class, you'd probably feel the same. He is REALLY OH SO STOOOPEEEDDD!!!!! I wish the sem would end so that I wouldn't have to see his ass (I mean, his face) again.

ES1: So ok.. I finally get to finish the plates on time because people around me help and maybe I'm actually learning crap. But why the fuck didn't I answer the stupid problems in the 2nd Long Exam properly?! I really wasn't in the proper state of mind then, I guess. Bummer! Now what will I do? I'd hate to get a 5.00 but I'd hate it even more if I dropped! SHIT! What the heck am I supposed to do? Do I even have the slightest chance of passing the friggin subject? Who knows...

On ThE bRiGhTeR sIdE oF lIfE:
1. My best friend is finally talking to me. :)
2. I'm actually beginning to believe that our batch will FINALLY be united soon... very soon.
3. I'm crazy about my man! mwah mwah!!
... I sound crazy, don't I? LOLZ!

over and out.

2003-08-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

Ignition (Remix)
R. Kelly

Now, usualy i dont do this but uh... give em a lil preview of the remix

no im not tryin to be rude,
but hey pretty girl im feelin you
the way you do the things you do
remind me of my Lexus coup
thats why im all up in yo grill
tryina get you to a hotel
you must be a foot ball coach
the way you got me playin the field

now gimme that toot toot
and i'll give you that beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

[chorus]
this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
im like so what im drunk
its the freakin weekend baby
im about to have me some fun

(Let me see you) Bounce-
bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
(Now let me see you) Bounce-
bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce

now its like murder she wrote
once i get you out them clothes
privacy is on the door
still they can hear you screamin more
girl im feelin what you feelin
no more hopin and wishin
im bout to take my key and
stick it in the ignition

so gimme that toot toot
and i'll give you that beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
im like so what im drunk
its the freakin weekend baby
im about to have me some fun

crystall poppin in the stretch navigator
we got food every where
as if the party was catored
we got fellas to my left
honnies on my right
we bring em both together we got drinkin all night
then after the show its the (after party)
and after the party its the (hotel lobby)
and round about 4 you gotta (clear the lobby)
then head take it to the room and freak somebody

can i get a toot toot
can i get a beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
im like so what im drunk
its the freakin weekend baby
im about to have me some fun

girl we off in this jeep
foggin windows up
blastin the radio
in the back of my truck
bouncin up and down
stroke it round and round
to the remix
we just thuggin it out...

2003-08-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

[C-E-N-S-O-R-E-D]

2003-08-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

First overnight TD tomorrooo!!!
wooohoooo

2003-08-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

Quote of The Week:
UNITY is the beginning, SUCCESS is the ending.
Though the ordeal is hard, let PATIENCE be thy guard
for our HOPES are high and our time is nigh.

hu-hum.. Thoughts:
1. There will be no training tomorrow cuz of the UPCAT. Now that sucks.. big time.
2. I have two stupid ES1 plates to finish by Monday. I don't really feel like doing them. My imagination just ain't working.
3. My commanding voice really sucks. I should practice.. I HAVE to practice.. Wish I had the time
4. At the beginning of the course (COCC), someone said "Ingatan mo acads mo." I told myself I would.. Now I'm not so sure I'm doing it.
5. I really miss two special people in my life... two "sir"s >.<

over and out.

2003-08-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday::

1900H. I was walking toward the comfort room, and then all of a sudden a guy approaches me on my right, puts his left arm around me and kissed me! -.-'
Gez who!!!
Clue! Elementary school classmate, graduated HS from UST and currently taking Advertisement/FA at UST.. hehehe!

2000H. Met with Maj Carreon and fifteen of my buddies and went to GMA. Gosh! Can you imgaine?? Five of my female buddies and I were in the same van as the Corps Commander, the Corps G1, G3, and G7 and TGBH!! WOW!!! Five first-classmen!! wooohooo!!
[sorry na lang sa mga hindi nakaka-relate. basta puro gwaping! mwek hek hek!]
PLUS PLUS PLUS!!! Kor, G1, and TGBH recognized me as a Xientian and said "Ituloy mo ha!"
NAKS!! yipeee!!!! =)

Friday::

Saw a former crush.. ::sigh:: former ba talaga? hehehehe!

Gez who!!!
Clue! Senior year classmate now in areneo. mwek hek hek!
sssshhhhh!!!!!
obvious naman eh!

>.<

over and out.

2003-07-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Tuesday:
"Why can't we be best friends right now?"
"Hindi na pwede. Magkaiba na mundo natin..."

Wednesday:
"There's been a lot of stuff going on and it sucks cuz I don't get to share them with you."
"I miss the old times..."

...
I miss my best friend..
that's all.

2003-07-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

Okiee.. second TD as btch cmdr..
HUWAW!!!

PT: Cpt Moneza told me to lead the chant (Don't Quit!) Can you imagine putting notes into that poem? lolz!
So happeee..
Tas.. drills.. drills... and more drills...
WAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'm not making any sense now, am I?
So what?
mwek hek hek!!!

over and out.

2003-07-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day::

Under The Bridge
Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe that I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

2003-07-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day: Life isn't miserable. We only feel that it is cuz we make it so.

Song of the day:

Nice To Know You
Incubus

Better than watching Gellar
Bending silver spoons
Better than witnessing
Newborn nebulas in bloom
She who sees from up
High smiles and surely sings
Perspective pries her once
Weighty eyes and
It gives you wings
I haven't felt the way
I feel today
In so long its hard
For me to specify
I'm beginning to notice
How much this feels like
A waking limb
Pins and needles
Nice to know you
Goodbye
Nice to know you

Deeper than the deepest
Coustou would ever go
Higher than the heights of what
We often think we know
Oppressed that she who clearly
Sees the wealth of the trees
To obtain a bird's eye is to
Turn a blizzard to a breeze

I haven't felt the way
I feel today
In so long its hard
For me to specify
I'm beginning to notice
How much this feels like
A waking limb
Pins and needles
Nice to know you
Goodbye
Nice to know you
To know... you

Could it be that it had
Been there all along

I haven't felt the way
I feel today
In so long its hard
For me to specify
I'm beginning to notice
How much this feels like
A waking limb
Pins and needles
Nice to know you
Goodbye
Nice to know you
To know
You

Over and Out.

LAKDALSIGNO 2007

2003-07-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

KAYA KO TOH!!!!

Someone is back and really encouraging me to be bad!!
Someone has forgotten me (finally!)
Someone is killing me.. tanga kasi
Someone wants to take my position as batch com
Someone is pretty scared of his position
Many are happy.
LOLZ!

LAKDALSIGNO 2007
(naks!)

2003-07-17T02:24:00.000-07:00

To My Best Friend

Under this circumstance, we say goodbye. It's terrible. It's difficult. But we have to. There's nothing we can do about it. For a year, we'll have to live apart. We have to live our lives as though we were not important to one another. We have to make believe we never shared our secrets, our joys and sorrows, our hatred, all our problems and everything else. And also, we won't be able to share any more of those for the next months.

This is adjustment at it's maximum. This is the way it has to be, no matter how we try to change it. I just hope you understand that the decision I made was not haphazard. I thought about it very well, and as you know it's my passion, my dream. It's difficult for us both, I know and I can't do this without your support.

Eight months from now, everything will be back to normal. I promise you that.

I miss you...

-tottie-

2003-07-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

My life will touch a dozen lives before this day is done With countless marks for good or ill O'er sets the evening sun This the way I'll always make The prayer I'll always pray Lord may my life help other lives It touches by the way [54-A]

Insecurity. Paranoia. Hatred. Confusion. Frustration. Invisibility. Nothing. No one. Priorities. Friends. Upperclassmen. Crushes. Men. Best friend. Illegal love. Selfish love. Unacknowledged love. Oblivious to love. Stupidity. Undecisiveness. Grief. Dilemma. Bullshit.

Too much too soon.

2003-07-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

Song of the Day:
I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me
Exposé

I hear you're taking the town again
Havin' a good time with all your good-time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now, and I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right

CHORUS:
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens,
Long as the rivers run to the sea,
I'll never get over you getting over me

I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away (won't go away)
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay

I know that I oughta find someone new
But all I find is myself always thinking of you

CHORUS

Oh, no matter what I do,
Each night's a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I've ever loved
Oh oh ah

And as long as the stars shine down from the heavens,
Long as the rivers run to the sea,
I'll never get over you getting over me

(I'll never get over you getting over)
Never get over you getting over
I'll never get over you getting over me

2003-07-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

Still Lost In Thought...

Quote of the day:
"Siyempre matatakot ang mga lalake na manligaw sayo kasi iisipin nila kahit anong mangyari second best lang sila dahil love mo si sir lee!"

WOW! how can he say that? I don't love LOVE the guy... i just admire him oh so much.. >.<
ok fine! i admit! i believe i love him. but it's a different kind of love.. more on a friendly/brotherly love.. right?? totoo naman un eh..
Besides! I can't fall for either of 'em 'cuz it's not accepted there. (basta there!) So how are we supposed to deal with it? Illegal relationship or forget the feelings we have for each other? It's a cruel world, isn't it?

What's with all the drama anyway? I should be focusing on more important things, right?? Like my damn fuckin acads! BWAHAHA!! They're pretty good, as of the moment. Mukha namang ndi pa nila ako patatalsikin sa triple e! mwek hek hek

Maybe I should stop posting entries when my mind's in a haze...
On second thought, how can I?
My mind's always in a haze! hehehehe

Random Stuff:
Someone's coming back.
Another someone is coming back.
Someone is inviting me back to the club.
Someone is intentionally showing me his face stuck to his girl's face.
Someone is beginning to regret he ever knew me.
Someone is doubting my ability to love him.
Someone is being rude to me.
Someone is depressed because he's weird.

too much too soon.
over and out.

2003-07-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

[Lost in Utter Thought]
How do you know when someone likes you?

Case I. He sticks by you every time he sees you, pinches your cheeks and says you're so cute. He puts his arms around you, lay your head on his shoulder, tells you to sleep, and assures you that he won't mind. He carries all your stuff for you even though he's already carrying tons of other things. He accompanies you in all your food trips.. from fishballs, to ice creams, and even to a simple piece of chewing gum. He frowns when he hears you talk about the guys in your life.

Case II. He can't talk to you straight in person. He's always looking for you.. and when he DOES see you, he sends you an sms saying he just did. Somehow your friends hear your name as the topic of interest of HIS friends. He asks for your pictures. If he doesn't get 'em, he creates his own. He stares at you, believing you don't notice.

Case III. He sends you an sms whenever the class you hate so much starts, bidding you "good luck! kaya mo 'yan!" He approaches you when you're alone in class and talks to you about his life and asks about yours. He walks long distances with you even though he wants to take the jeep, just because you don't ride jeepneys inside the campus. He tells you it'd be hard for you not to look cute because you're naturally cute. He admits he noticed you even before he met you formally (and reassures you by citing exactly what you were wearing that day!) He memorized all the info he read about you in your yearbook, and brags about it.

Why do you fall for people you're not allowed to have relationships with?

Case I. He's your friend. You like the same things he does (RK, guns, video games that involve shooting, war movies, and the military). And as the darn quote goes "a guy and agirl can't be just friends.. somehow someone falls for the other.." and so you DO fall for
him, head over heels! And so you fall.. fastly until you stumble and realize he's got someone else. Then you get into the same school he's in. You're glad because at least you will be able to see him, talk to him, spend time with him... even as his friend only. But then you make this decision that changes everything. You have to decide between him and your dreams. And of course, you choose your dreams..and lose the friendship. You lose the chance of ever talking to him as your friend. He's now your upperclasmman. Now you love him from afar... oh so far. Leche!

Case II. The feeling is mutual. But due to each one's desire to lead and be distinct from others (in other words join a fraternity and an organization), both are not allowed to talk to one another except in a very formal manner. No relationship can exist between you and him except as superior and subordinate.

How do you forget someone who's forgotten you?

Case I. Ex-boyfriend. You see him at school all the freaking time and yet you both choose to ignore each other.You try to hide the fucking pain in your chest when you see him kissing his damn girlfriend. Yes, of course, it's your darn fault that he's not yours anymore. You thought you lost all the feelings you had for him when in reality they're all still there. You tell your friends you hate him so much for not being a good boyfriend, when in reality you hate him because he's loving someone else.

Case II. Ex-whatever. You don't know exactly what to call him. He's the guy you spent most of the first two months of your senior year in high school with. He had a girlfriend. Who were you then? Who knows! You realized months ago that it wasn't really anything. But then today you see him, arms around his new girlfriend. And then suddenly your heart breaks. You're pissed, sad, and shocked at the same time. What was that?

[/end]

Wow! ginagawa ko talaga ang pagb-blog ni aleck.. hehehehe
It's obvious tuliro ako ngayon.. problemado sa mga bwisit na tao sa buhay! hehehe
juz kiddin!
dapat nga acads muna eh, dba?

over and out.

2003-07-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

Word of the Day: "WOW!"
why? because...
1. pinapansin na ako ni kuya! yipee!!
2. paranoid na talaga ako sa presensya ng mga COs/NCOs
3. ansarap ng pishballs!
4. astig ung yearbook/grad souvenir cd
5. nakausap ko na si chard! marunong na siya magkwento saken.. mwek hek hek! nice kid..
6. ang cute sooper ni NCOBLECKMATE!
7. nakita ko na ulit ang mga batchamates (ABBIE!!!)
un lang

i'm out.

2003-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

Third TD!
so, due to the fact na tinatamad ako mag-kwento.. eto na lang:

1. masaya ang 3rd TD!
2. malapit na kami maging prends ni syrup
3. mejo nag-bonding session kami ng "batchmates" kanina kaya may joggin session naman kami sa wednesday
4. mahirap tumakbo nang naka- T-fatigue (white shirt, garizon belt and army buckle, lower garment ng TFU, black socks and combat boots!)
5. masaya mag-recite lalo na pag ikaw lang ang nakaka-alam ng sagot
6. gwapings ang members ng cocc directorate
7. i miss kuya
8. sooper cute talaga ni roy!
9. long exam sa math17 and report sa socsci1 tomorrow
10. kumain ako ng salted egg at inatake ako ng allergy kaya nag-turok ako ng gamot! (antihistamine)

Loyalty
If you work for a man, in heaven's name work for him
Speak well of him and stand by the institution that he represents
Remember that an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness
If you must growl, condemn, and eternally find fault
And when you're on the outside, damn to your heart's content
But as long as you are part of this institution, do not condemn it
For if you do, the first high wind that comes along will blow you away
And probably you'll never know why.

over and out.

2003-07-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

Tottie Equals What?

Tottie = very bad
Why? Kasi...
1. iniinsulto ko ung batch commander namin dahil pangit ang commanding voice niya.. tanga siya, at mukha siyang kupal! leche..
2. asar ako sa iba kong batchmates dahil S-L-O-W silaaa to the maximum point of being slow! pesteh..
3. badtrip ung isa kong batchmate who i will call syrup dahil leche pesteh at kung anu-ano pang pangit na salita ang masasabi ko sa kaniya! imagine... coc siya, at nilalandi niya ung tactical officer ng raya at ang corps g3! (ayoko mag-mention ng names, pero kung part kayo ng corps.. mwek hek hek! alam niyo nah!)
4. kinukupal ko ung partner ko sa socsci1 report... ahehehe
5. asshole ako sa isang tao.. yea. may rason naman talaga ako magalit dba? ... ba't ayaw ko siyang patawarin? epal ako eh.. tsk tsk tsk

so there... as you can see (or read, whatever) i'm sooper bad!
ndi bale, mawawala rin yan.. ahehehe

Tottie = GC
Totoo? Mejo lang..
hehehe
Mahirap hindi maging GC... nakakahiya sa blockmate na crush! hehehe
oblation scholar pa naman siya..
Besides, it would really be good kung maganda grades ko tas CO pa ko.. dba?

Tottie = addict
Saan?
1. ROTC/COCC... ndi ko naman siguro kelangan i-elaborate toh
2. Fishballs ... psychological lang actually pag sabihin kong pinaka-masarap na pisbols ung andun sa tapat ng dmst.. shempre i associate the food with the place that i really really love! mwek hek hek
3. Rifles/Handguns ... They let us aim kanina nung PE... i was holding a .22 cal. (caution! kayabangan ahead...) it wasn't really anything... juz that mercado (a CO who's also an assistant instructor sa PE) said to me while i was aiming "wow, expert!" ahehehe.. ambabaw ko! pero sooooper happy! =)

>.<
this is long, isn't it?
i'm out.

2003-07-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

as usual, tinatamad ako magkwento..
so.. anong sense ng pag-post diba?
wala lang..

oohlalala..
my life's beginning to change na nga..
dress code and everything..
wow!
but still.. i love it..

the only problem is..
...
subordinate ako eh..
i can't talk to him and my own best friend..
two people i can't live without.
wow!
andrama talaga..
shut up tottie

i'm out.

2003-07-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

eng'g life sucks...
i hate ES1!!!!!
i soooopeeerrr hate it!!
i suck at drawing slash drafting...
baaahhh..

>.<

2003-06-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

UNITY

I am only one but I am one
I cannot do evertyhing but I can do something
What I can do, I ought to do
And what I ought to do
By the grace of God I will do it

Unity, version ng UP... hehehehe
I'm excited, yet a little scared..

Earlier today, nung tumambay kami ni neng at sandy sa kiosk,
biglang dumating ung mga COs (jong, mej, carreon, etc.)
and of course instant reaction namin?! umalis kaming tatlo agad!!
as in we walked away like we were being chased by wild animals!
how brave!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
it's cool pero.. basta.. nakaka-takot pag mang-indocs na sila!
lolz!
sssshhh.. MS nah.. shut up tottie

i'm out.

2003-06-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

tinatamad ako magkwento....
>.<

WISH ME LUCK EVERYONE!!!
bwehehehe

i'm out.

2003-06-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

So.. first training day. and gez what? there are now 126 cadet officer candidates (COCs).. and i'm one of them. yep!
along with all the other xientia 03 there, of course. we plan to submit a milcor (a military letter) on tuesday to Capt Monneza (the COCC-OIC), as a request for transfer of unit (RTU). the thing is i want and really really love to be an officer, kaya i don't really want to quit. but.. my dad! argh! i'm gonna talk to them (my parents) later. that will be hell..
i wanna be an officer... tas here i am.. after 10 TDs, i'm gonna be CP2Lt Melyssa... it's like a dream come true!! wow!

to quit or not to quit! that is the question!
i gez this is one of THE worst feelings in the world (excuse my grammar)... being in a dilemma. bummer. >.<

anyway, with all this jazz, i'm gonna share.. my favorite anthology:

Invictus
William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

WOW! i still know it by heart!

i'm out.

2003-06-19T03:18:00.000-07:00

I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing a celebrity crush hanging around in my school... actually it's his school too.. juz that he is soooo... cute! i'm crazy...

let's visit the past days:
sunday: rotc orientation. 'twas good. shempre pinapansin talaga ng mga COs ang mga xientians! special eh! ahehehe! .. aside from that, i got sick. hit 38. pero i didn't tell anyone cuz baka isipin ng dad ko it's because of ro, and i believe he'll use it as an excuse to forbid me to take rotc.
monday: *cough *cough... had a sore throat. bummer ne? saw henry for the first time in school. cutie! ahehehe...
tuesday: arrived at school at around seven in the mornin. then i met up with yeli sa math. we rode the see-saw for about an hour. hehehe! then went to math class (sit-in si yeli boinks)... she got bored (i don't blame her). then after math class, we went to nigs for geol11 (ako naman nagsit-in sa class niya). ahehehe! fun ne? in the afternoon... eng1 instructor was still a no-show. bah! where is he? >.<
wednesday: went to the hospital. couldn't take it anymore. i had the flu, sinuses were swelling, and wuz having an allergy attack. pitiful me! despite the fact that i couldn't breathe and my limbs were shaking, i still struggled to finish my plates for ES1 (engineering drawing).. wow! studious, ain't i? (walang mangbabara!!!)
thursday: that's today, isn't it? yeah.. saw atom.. (who else could i be talking about in those first statements?) got my ball cap and garizon belt... saw henry...

obviously tinatamad na ako magkwento. >.<

i'm out.

2003-06-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

so..
encore encore with my mom and two sisters..
can you believe i sang LP songs?? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
i believe i sounded really ridiculous..
i sang Crawling and One Step Closer! ahehehe...
can you imagine me trying to imitate chester's voice? lolz!

neweiz... i'd like to share one of my favorite poems.. ::

The Road Not Taken
(Robert Lee Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

i'm out.

2003-06-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

tinatamad ako mag-blog!!
bakit? dunno..
mind's in a haze kasi.
damn!
ung TBA ko, TBA parin! tsk tsk tsk

i'm out.

2003-06-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

todae: 1030.. went to la salle (acutally sa mcdo lang) and met with boni. he stayed with me until 1130 when fe and cindy arrived.. then we waited for alex. then we ate at that place (i forgot the name) in the something-something tower (i forgot the name also). basta un. umikot-ikot lang kame.. usap.. kwento. blah.

we parted at around 2pm. i went to rob place, waited for ryan.. when he arrived, we ate mcflurrys at mcdonald's! (thanks man!)

then.. highlight of the day:: went to dreamzone to return ivan's fili books.. as in oh my god!! looks like someone still haven't forgotten that guy! hehehe.. dunno why but i still like him so very much.. ::sighs:: can't get him off my head..

ivan! ivan! ivan! ivan! i'm crazy...

haaay.. tamad na ako magkwento. >.<

btw, nag-chat si henry kanina!! badtrip!! he went online at around 9:30 .. nag-text sakin si kuya kaya ko alam.. eh demmit! of course ndi ako pwede mag-chat ng ganung time cuz CSI nun! demmit! then right after the show, i went online.. damn mIRC!!! i couldn't connect. then after 10 mins, i hopped in (IRC term). darn!! henry wasn't there anymore.. he disconnected seven minutes before i got in. DAMN DAMN DOUBLE DAMN!!! if the stupid irc was workin well, i would have gotten to talk to him at the very lest...
*sniff *sniff WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm out.

2003-06-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Oh Happy Day. Gezz who got to shake hands with atom?? MEEEHHHH!!!!! bwahahahaha!!!!! oh my god!! oh my god!! i can die now! atom.. atom.. atom.. now i really won't be able to sleep.. i really won't be!!!
....
Aside from that, I saw henry, mej, patrick, and that other guy i like whose name is still unknown.. but still!! oh happy day!!! (how shallow can tottie get??)
....
Anyway, I might join the volunteer corps.. that all depends pa if i feel like it. ima read their pamphlet (or whatever u call those things) tomorrow. if it wouldn't take too much of my time, well then, i'm gonna join! WOHOO!!! can you imagine spending that much time with atom?? i mean.. oh my god!!! i can't get him off my mind..
but of course.. i think he's already taken... SO WHAT?? lolz!
....
what else? oh! i got to meet some of my blockmates na.. there were only eight or nine of us (i think) kanina dun after the welcome assembly. and i was the only girl! =(
kei lng.. hmm.. who are they again? jp, roy, anthony, james, gerald, jeram, (i forgot the rest!) and of course paul and dj.
didn't get to join the tour of the department cuz i had to go for the lecture (drivin school)
....

Freaky Things. i had some stickers made from Robee Stickers yesterday. in the order slip or whatever, you had to write your contact number, and so i wrote my cell number. and gezz what? the girl there is now textin me, askin to be my friend and wants to meet!! argh! creepy bitch..
plus! during the president's speech in the welcome assembly, i fell asleep. and you know what? the CoE guy sitting to my right was touching my hair!! oh my god!! what is it with those kind of people?? then when i woke up he said, "sarap mo matulog ah!" BAH!!
we talked but still i felt uneasy. basta. tas when we were getting out of the theater, he was walking behind me.. kaya i hurried a little then mingled with some batchmates (kahit ndi ko ka-close) juz to get myself out of his sight.
of course, i might be wrong. but still.. i dun wanna risk stuff. i hate stalkers.

gezz that's all.
i'm out.

2003-06-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

shempre tinatamad akong magkwento bout my first day.
basta it's good nah. i don't need to buy the book needed for Soc Sci1.. mai was kind enough to lend me hers.
wow
anyway, that's all i gezz..

btw, sorry to you about the song.. wuz in a REALLY bad mood.
i took your car out for a drive last night. i love it! hehehe

i'm out.

2003-06-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

i'm in imus right now.. they were all asleep when i got here.. but now renzie's up. hehehe
we'll be goin out in a while to gaze at the stars. yippee!
going to tagaytay tomoro.. bwahahaha!!

btw, my song for the week::

You're So Vain
(Carly Simon)

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you

You're so vain (so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

i'm out.

2003-06-06T03:47:00.000-07:00

i stayed home today. my first and probably last rest day for the summer. school starts on monday. i can't wait.. and then again, i think i can! lolz! i'm excited but i'm pretty sure it would last for the first two or three weeks. then the work begins and all the crap will fill our heads and then student burnout starts... baaah!! *
hehehe... pessimistic, aint i? i juz wish college would be good.. maybe not a hundred percent fun or easy.. but at least good. ayoko magkaron ng bagsak!! ohplease..
what else is there to say? i'm hating someone right now.. bwahahaha! you know who you are... you're a milliom miles away. can't we keep it that way? sometimes i curse the net.. cuz if it didn't exist you wouldn't be tormenting me with all your dramas and such. a**hole!
so.. obviously tottie's in a bad mood? bakit nga ba? ewan.. miss my cuzns! especially renzie.. i'll be seeing them tomorrow naman... yipee! can't wait! we're going to tagaytay.. hahaha! ano ba meron dun? lolz!
gez that's all...

good news: Serena Williams lost!!! BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! hate hate hate!!!
bad news: Agassi lost in the quarterfinals to that stupeed Coria.... KILL KILL!!!!
*sniff!

i'm out.

2003-06-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

third hands-on drivin lesson.. good again.
went to school to finish my unfinished business. lolz! what language.. neweiz, on my way to triple e, i ran into kuya franz, jr, mp, and dianne.. wow! missed those people.. gezz we're schoolmates again. hehehe.. ayun. so i had a prof, roberto uy (who happened to be very very cute), to sign my form 26a.. then off to eng'g.. it was only 1145 tas nag-lunch break na ung mga goddem na RA!!! damn! neweiz... went to the famous "our tree" by the beta way.. then michael called me tas we went together to NIGS to meet those four i bumped into earlier.. then we all went to AS where we met divine, kristy and paolo.. wow! mejo epal ako dun sa barkadang un! pero okie lng.. they were good naman.. ndi ako inisnab! lolz! they were still teasin me about ivan! ohmygod! that was soo long ago! and so around 1245, i left them na and went back to eng'g.. i waited til 1340 for the damned RAs!! stupid fools.. anyway, i got it stamped, went to the OUR and paid.. phew! finished.
went to purp's haws. stayed there til 5 then off to socialite's for the lecture..
then here i am.

ei! big big thanks to ryan!!!! grabeh man!! arigato gozaimasu!! mwah mwah mwah!!!
you're so sweet!! see what he made for me... salamat talaga!!! =)

haba ulit. gomene.
i'm out.

2003-06-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

TUESDAY: first hands-on driving lesson.. 'twas good! the engine never died out and the car ran smoothly.. i was good! lolz! after that i went to school to pay my tuition.. and so i did. then i went to the OUR's to accompany purp.. then we went to sm.. *
bah! tamad na ak magkwento.. check her site for details..

WEDNESDAY: second hands-on driving lesson... good too. (tamad na ako maglagay ng details).. neweiz.. went to school again after to enlist for rotc.. im a ranger!! BWAHAHAHA!!!! illegal yun! lolz! but since i paid my tuition already i have to undergo the long process of "add matriculation".. argh! i got too bummed i decided to leave it at that muna and finish the damn thing tomoro. met dino (he was goin to dlsu) who dropped me off at rob place ermita. (saw ivan with a girlie kaya nahiya ako tawagin sha) there, i met ryan. we played at dreamtown.. stayed (we didn't really eat, just drank) and talked at auntie anne's then roamed around..
by six, i decided to text (the word!) karmela.. a sophie at la salled who graduated from masci whom i met thru chat.. i was in luck! she was still at school! so ryan and i went there and met with her (they knew each other naman eh). also, i saw fe there! she introduced me to her friend cindy. then they left na. we (ryan, mela and me) parted ways when mela's parents (i think) came na to pick her up. i was gonna take the lrt home kasi traffic.. but i changed my mind kasi SOBRANG jam-packed ung trains. so i took a taxi home.
and here i am.

whush! haba. gomene.
i'm out.

2003-06-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

spent the day at imus again! i love my cuzns!!
haaay...
tinatamad ako magkwento..
later na lang..

i'm out.

2003-06-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

i'm tired..
after church, we (me and my family) went to Farmers blah blah at cubao to have yeli's new glasses made.. 3thou plus plus! poor kid.. taas na naman grado..
after that we went to SM north to go shoppin. grabeh! andaming tao! ohwell.. i didn't really see anyone significant. hehehe..
i bought my "emergency kit" crap so that i'll have something to use in case of emergencies (duhh!!). i mean, in case of an allergy attack, i'll have insulin and antihistamine. the doc said kasi na lately, many people die juz cuz of allery attacks! yuck! and i have tons of allergies! we found out last friday pa na i'm allergic to roaches and dust mites! yuck!! what a life i have...
neweiz, i bought lotsa stuff.. but i still feel it aint complete yet kaya ima go shoppin again next week. hehehehe
er... daz all i gezz.. i should stop makin this long entries! hehehe

i'm out.

2003-05-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

hmm..
spent the day at my aunt's haws at imus.. 'course she and her hubby wasn't there..
'wuz with my cuzns: my darl renzie, the twins, and the other four from trece were there too
i was the oldest there kaya it was pretty tiring.. taking care of all of 'em..
but 'twas okiee cuz they're all good kaya it wasn't that much difficult.
neweiz, renzie told everyone that we watched Ring 0 yesterday and everyone wuz curious about the trilogy (kuno)...
good thing was they had vcds of the three!! hehehe
so we watched Ring first..
they were soooo scared kaya we didn't go on na..
the twins even cried!!
afterwards, we went to SM Bacoor to eat lunch (yeah we went all the way to SM just to eat..)
so we ate at KRR and went to quantum to play
ang gezz who i saw?!?!?
APOLLO!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
was he surprised!!
he approached me.. we talked...
then he left and bought coffee for us.. he even bought 7 more for my cuzns! wow! ambaet!
after that, my cuzns invited me to go back home na kasi they were pretty tired so nagpaalam na ako kay apol..
and then gez what! he offered us a ride home! shempre masama tumanggi sa gracia diba (ayon kay katheryn joyce hong ang bespren ni purp)..
so there. he took us home and shempre being courteous, i invited him inside..
good thing he declined kasi i really didn't want him there..
nahiya daw siya sa cuzns ko! thank God!

after he left, my cuzns were talkin about (ohmygod!) Meteor Garden!
siete pecados! ayun.. memoryado nila ung songs! demmet!
tas they started imitating the moves and the whatevers of them F4 boys in their videos..
so i took out the videocam and made videos..
BWAHAHAHA!!!!! i bet pagtanda nila pagsisisihan nila ung mga pinag-gagagawa nila!! lolz!

my aunt arrived at around 7 (after Totally Spies which i really really love!!) so i headed home and here i am..

phew! this is long! hehehe
what can i say? it's really a great day!
may panira nga lang sa isang blog ng isang taong nasa portugal..
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
matamaan ka, pesteh..

by the way, purp, renzie's turnin eleven on june16
and... today's jerald's birthday! wala lang..

i'm out.

2003-05-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

so... haven't said anythin bout last week, eh?
house was renovated so we stayed at Dusit..
was pretty much alone then kaya i asked my cutsie favrite cuzn renzie to accompany me all week..
we went swimming, worked out at the gym, mallin, and he even accompanied me when i went back and forth from BIR to LTO to get my permit! cool kid!
neweiz, last thursday wuz sleepover at fe's..
twas good.. kei lang.. basta. good enuff..
hmm...

this week: monday was henry's birthday.. wow! miss the guy!
tuesday and wednesday, i stayed at home.. lakas ulan eh
thursday, went to glo with renzie..
cute kid teased me cuz i was wearin a halter top
sabi nya "ate, may date ka? iwan mo ko noh?"
bwahahahah!! i was shocked! first time i heard him say such things.
told him i had a date with him.. i love that kid!
neweiz..
friday, doctors' appointments in the morn..
then in the afternoon.. renzie again, glo again..
then he got pretty bored and invited me to mega to watch ring 0!
yipee! ganda movie!! astig!
neweiz, took him back to dusit then went home..
here i am.

thanks alex for the layout..
you, sorry about the call.. why don't you use your blog anymore?
i miss you..

this is.. as usual.. too long!!
i'm out.

2003-05-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

2003-05-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

ALEX!!!
salamat!!!
mwah mwah mwah!!!

2003-05-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

i got my permit!!!
i got my student's permit!!!
i can drive!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(when accompanied by a pro, of course)
i start hands-on lessons june 3rd.. yabadabadoo!!

i'm out.

2003-05-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

okiee.. i'm downloading lots of songs right now and there's nuthin much to do kaya i took some quizzes.. lolz!
dun like most of the results..and some are soo not true... but.. yea.. im postin them anyway..
=)

You should be an Aries, Outgoing, Extravert,
Energetic, Dynamic, Courageous, Generous,
Strong, Extravagant but sometimes can be
arrogant, insecure, jealous, concerned with
looks and others' opinion

~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~
brought to you by Quizilla

United States Of America -
The most well-renouned country in modern day times.
The militaristic superpower, the United States
of America are also known as the bossiest
nation.

Positives:

Known Worldwide.

A Beacon to Others.

Powerful.

Fast Food.

Negatives:

Bossy.

Despised by Most Others.

Elitest.

Which Country of the World are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

You'd shoot them

How would you kill someone
brought to you by Quizilla

Ecstacy.
Sex and lights,
It's totally chill,
you could really have fun,
with this little pill.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Vlad the Impaler. The man behind the legend
of Dracula. You hanged your victims, stretched
them on the rack, burned them at the stake,
boiled them alive, but mostly impaled them.
Most of your killings were politically targeted
but sometimes you killed just because you were
bored. Your "reign of terror" lasted
from 1456 to 1462. Estimated numbers of victims
vary between 30,000 and more than 100,000.
Evil Evil man. Fie on you!

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ur an ordinary unpure person

sexual purity test
brought to you by Quizilla

dami noh? lolz!
i'm out.

2003-05-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

woohooo!!!!
i'm kinda pissed cuz of the enrolment but ts okie..
c'est la vie..

pero i'm happpeee
icicles is online right now!
wow!
ts been a while since we went online at the same time..
i miss you man!!!
i really miss you!!
wish you were here.. and i'd kiss you *mwah *mwah!!
i love you muchoosss!!!

=)

2003-05-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

i quit ca. i really suck at it! i can't do anything right there. besides, i'm not inspired.
i'm really sorry ice..
'ope you understand.

got to play a little bball kanina. nice!
awryt. tinatamad na ako..

i'm out.

2003-05-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

okiee.. who didn't get to sleep last night?
* tottie raises hand
i hate having insomnia.. it sucks. especially when you're oh-so-tired and yet can't force yourself to sleep
got out of bed at around 4am, bathed, ate breakfast, then off to roxas blvd.
i tripped! again! while jogging! do you know anyone who's as stupid as to trip while jogging?
lolz! ts ok i gez..
then went to imus.. told neil i couldn't stay... but still i did, for a few hours.
left at round 11.. mygawd! two ten-wheelers caused a major traffic catastrophe(?) so i had to re-rout and take the very long way from cavite to paranaque to munti then back to paranaque then manila then home. phew! i paid the driver PhP350.. bummer >.<
i wuz already running late so i took another cab to mcdo north, where all of 'em seven (fe, hanna, lex, cider, bert, migs, ric) were waiting for me.. nakakahiya.. im not used to making people wait for me. =/

so.. we went to kathy's dad's wake... he seemed to be at peace. that's a good sign. at least he was happy. kathy's taking it pretty well i gez. i hope they all get through this well and be able to adjust and move on. (sorry for the grammar. it's right but it's lousy)

aftwerwards we went to the mall (sm north). saw gino's friends (who knew ric and bert so they kinda had their lil reunion of some sort..) then lex, cider, and i watched Bringing Down The House... nice movie.

this is too long (actually it aint, im juz lazy to type the rest of the story)
next time.

i'm out.

2003-05-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

btw, i got this quiz from purp.. it's really bizarre. this is soooo not me!

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

i actually forgot to mention that i sprained my knee last sunday.. too much bbal. =)

yesterday -- was a real crummy day! i realized i suck at CA! i made this cinnamon curry dish and cuz i wasn't allergic to any of those ingredients, i tasted it! and gez wat? 'twas terrible!! ich! eew! kadiree!! tasted like crap! then i thought: what if the dishes i cooked last sunday were also terrible? i made my relatives at imus eat them! it's sooo humiliating! bummer.. then someone was still keeping quiet. i forwarded him a quote that was suppose to startle him.. and yet he did not respond. bastard! it was really a bad day.. i finished two packs! i had trouble breathing late last night and had to go to the hospital! wow! aint i lucky? grr.. on the bright side, i got a free massage kaya my knee feels great na! thanks to that lady whose name i forgot already.. >.<

today, i actually tried to cancel my lessons but neil wouldn't let me. he said i still had much to learn. so i went again to alabang. traffic pah! bwiset! got there round 11 na. anyway, today was better than yesterday i gez. he wasn't as cranky! hehehe. i made kosher meals. i don't know why, he just said i should learn them. i'm not jewish. he isn't either. i don't know anyone who is. weird.

anyway... the lessons tomorrow will be back in imus na. but i'm trying to contact him a little while ago to tell him i can't go kasi kathy's dad died and i want to visit. i wish neil would let me off.

icicles, i'm sorry. i really want to quit ca now. it's not for me. can i?

what else? oh! i finished Tuesdays With Morrie today. it isn't really THAT good but ts ok.. kinda coo kasi it's tru to life. ? i'll be reading Agatha Christie's The Secret Adversary now.. hopefully it'll be good.

peace.
i'm out.

2003-05-04T06:22:00.000-07:00

first day of CA today. 'twas a-ok i think. neil got a little pissed though. (pretty long story coming here) he was complaining on how i kept on texting (the word!) while we were grocery shoppin for goods. couldn't help myself eh. besides, i was still able to help pick out the good uns from the bad uns. so.. on our way to imus, he showed me the cookbooks he bought (with icicles' money of course) and told me what he was planing to teach me. i wasn't really paying much attention so he got a little angry. (i'm so bad! tsk tsk) anyhu... after we arrived, we didn't get to start right away kasi i played muna with my cuzns (what can i say, i wasn't really in the mood to cook!) then nagparining na siya to the maximum height.. i gave in so we started (round 2pm).. then finished round 5pm na.. whew! i'm not gonna mention what dishes i learned so i can surprise y'all when i get to cook for you. (as if that's gonna happen...)_then i went to my cuzns' house and joined 'em in playing.. what was the game? SILENT HILL!!! yup yup yup! i haven't played that since sophomore year so i wuz pretty excited.. so we played til my aunt arrived and then i went home.. (the trip, btw, was really boring. hehehe)
that's pretty much everything.. or at least everything i got my oh-so-tired fingers to type. lol!

hmm.. no wait! i juz finished reading Og Mandino's The Christ Commission.. i really recommend that book!! gawd.. if u have the time, read it!! once you start, you won't ever want to put the damn thing down. and u'll get goose bumps and after you read it, i swear.. the first thing you'll do is pray. (well at least that's what i did)

i'm gonna start reading a new book now.. Mitch Albom's Tuesdays With Morrie.. hopefully it'll be good. i love being busy.. but not like this.. i hate going back and forth from imus to here and then there again. if i had a phone line there i'd stay.. para at least may net. hehehe.

this is a novel!
halt!

i'm out.

2003-04-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

so here i am again. i just arrived and i haven't changed my clothes yet. actually it's pretty stupid eh. i was in imus all day and then umuwi ako right after CSI. (btw, it's amazing cuz it's only been what, 40 mins? since i left and here i am na! wow) then right now they're telling me that we're going to tagaytay. aint i stupid? i knew i should have called first before i left! bwiset! ::sigh::

i'd love to stay, but i can't cuz we'll be going na ren.. bummer.

i'm out.

2003-04-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

uso to ngayon eh.. pagdating sa bahay, net muna, ndi muna talaga magbibihis! hehehe
actually i arrived kanina pa round eight tas i'm here na agad. (adik? not really.. may hinihintay lng sa irc)

so.. kwentoo. i went to festival kanina with my cutsie cuzn renz! (shempre siya lng tlg sinama ko.. ang sama ko talaga! hehehe)
he wanted to try Gotcha. o'course i wanted to try that too but i couldn't let him kasi he's too young for that sort of thing. (but believe me, muntik na akong bumigay sa constant na pagmamakaawa niya)

well anyway, we bought lots of stuff (i discovered he like shopping for clothes and cellphone accessories). i think he spent over a thousand pesos on the things he bought alone! aside from that we played at gameworx pa and ate (a lot!).. pero okei lng. we had fun! then i brought him to his mom and went straight here. wow. naubos din money ko. =(

daz all i gezz.
i'm out.

2003-04-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

i juz got home. haven't even changed my clothes yet! hehehe
here goes..

saturday: i didn't get to visit all 5 docs i was supposed to visit kase i got sick.. blech!
but it lasted only for a few hours so i rested for a a while when i got home and then off to imus..
TRAFFIC!! kadire.. so i got there round eight in the evening nah. bummer.
was too lazy to start packing so i visited my cuzns (who lived in the same street) first and went cycling with them.
yipee! saya-saya!!

sunday: for whatever reason, i woke up at around four am, and couldn't go back to sleep!! =(
so, i went cycling again. (maganda kasi ung roads dun sa village tas onti pa tao kaya masaya mag-bike!)
then off to church.. then packing.. actually there wasn't much to pack kasi onti lang talaga ung gamit dun.
after that, i went roller blading naman (shempre i invited my cutsie cousins)
and you know what?? i fell!!! threee timess!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sniff
kaya i have new bruises on my legs and on my arms (an addition to those i already have from that fall last monday!)
does the world hate me when i'm on wheels??
haaayy.. wag naman sana! delikado na un when i'm driving..

anyway, back to my story.. after my third fall, sabi ni renz (my favrite cousin!) "gusto mo stop na tayo baka nasasaktan ka na?"
takte!! hmph! langhyang bata un! ... pero kei lng! concerned siya saken! *mwah!
after that... i bummed around the house (was kinda scared cuz i was all alone and it was dark outside)
then i realized something... i don't want to give up that house!!
but i have no choice... sad! =(

phew! ang haba!
i'm out..

2003-04-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

okei.. i predict this'll be long..
(actually, relative nmn ang salitang long dba? lolx! tottie korni)

pissin me off :: the piano keyboard!
i knew how to play two years ago..
now: splak! wala! i don't know how anymore..
WAAAAAAHHHHHHH
both hands play well alone, but when i try to play both at the same time .. WALA!!
bastardeee....

also! this guy.. this asshole of a guy.. wala lng
actually i don't have enough reason to be mad at him..
juz that we haven't talked for almost a month..
i juz miss him daz all
(obviously, i got a crush on him)

what else? oh yeah..
i might not go to that summer camp i was planning to go on
kasi baka daw merong may SARS dun at baka mahawa ako
kaderns!
i really wanted to goooo!! how sad..

hmm.. wuh else?
we'll be sellin the house at imus na..
wala kasi kwenta eh.. ndi naman nagagamit.. it accumulates dirt! lolx
they say we'll be movin.. tas we'll be votin kung saan
choices are alabang hills, filinvest, bf resort at parañaque, or stay here
san kaya?
i don't like it here pero i don't want to move naman sa sobrang layo na place kasi layo ng school eh..
and i don't want to stay in a dormitory either..
bummer

anoh pha vah?
ohyes.. marunong na ako mag-flowchart!!!!
next week, after i move my stuff out of that house in imus,
i'm gonna study programming na
c, visual basic, oracle, etc..
it's funny cuz i won't be takin up CS11 til the second sem..
and here i am, studying all the stuff i'd be learning in that subject
lolx!

yan muna.. haba na ehh..

i'm out.
(for now.. lolx!)

2003-04-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

in one of those times i was watching tv last week, i got to watch a certain program in channel v..
i learned that the following song was the number one hit on the month i was born
(in short, korni ako)

Bruce Hornsby
Mandolin Rain

The song came and went
Like the times that we spent
Hiding out from the rain under the carnival tent
I laughed and she'd smile
It would last for awhile
You don't know what you got till you lose it all again

CHORUS
Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go

A cool evening dance
Listening to the bluegrass band takes the chill
From the air till they play the last song
I'll do my time
Keeping you off my mind but there's moments
That I find, I'm not feeling too strong

CHORUS

Running down by the lakeshore
She did love the sound of a summer storm
It played on the lake like a mandolin
Now it's washing her away once again

CHORUS

The boat's steaming in
I watch the sidewheel spin and I
Think about her when I hear that whistle blow
I can't change my mind
I knew all the time that she'd go
But that's a choice I made long ago

CHORUS

2003-04-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

the return of tottie!
BWAHAHAHA
. . .
meron pa bang generous someone out there???
wala na ako prepaid sa cell..
BIGYAN NIYO AKO!!!!

2003-04-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

ang bangag nung alst kong entry.. >.<
compliments to alex for that smiley kuno

hmmm... ang isa bang normal na tao pupunta sa alabang ng ala-una ng madaling araw para lang mag-apologize sa isang tita?
hinde diba?!
well.. kami'y mga baliw kaya punta kami dun maya-maya..
~_^

2003-04-12T05:45:00.000-07:00

COLLEGE NA AKOOO!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

2003-04-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

katatapos lang ng CSI...
nanood ba kayo?!
*sniff

2003-04-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

ts been a while eh? ewan

hum..
men: without them, women can't live
toink!

tottie is lost in thought

2003-04-04T04:27:00.000-08:00

i hate the world todaeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2003-04-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

an asshole once said,
"pag mukhang wala nang pag-asa, magpakamatay!!"

it's stupid.. pero.. waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i wuz so darn hapee yesterday...
and now...
::crash::

over and out
(militar tlg) fuck